Skyville Boys Page 19

  I pat his arm sympathetically.

  “I was making such good progress,” he mumbles and moans. “I think she was even comfortable around me. Maybe even liked me. But it all went to shit.”

  “You don’t know that,” I say. “She was trying to diffuse the awkwardness. You’re fine, Jax. Stop overthinking it.” I glance at Ezra. “Help me out here, man.”

  He shrugs as he continues thumbing through the playbill. “I shouldn’t give advice when it involves matters of the heart.”

  I grit my teeth. Sometimes he’s so impossible.

  Kara returns a few minutes later with her eyes wild with elation.

  “How did it go?” I ask as she squeezes past Jax’s legs and then mine, and flops down in her seat.

  “Awesome! She was surprised to see me. I’m so happy we came.”

  And she just sucked in another sun. I smile as my eyes move over her face, taking in every one of her features. She’s so beautiful, and I’m not just talking about her appearance. She’s got a freakin’ sun inside her.

  Oh, crap. Am I falling for her?

  “Jax.” She leans past me to softly tap his arm. “Thanks so much for inviting me.”

  Jax slowly lifts his eyes to hers. “You’re welcome.” And he gives her a real smile.

  The lights start to dim. The show is about to start.

  And it’s amazing. I haven’t seen the show before, maybe the movie a while back, but I’m totally blown away. The score is beautiful. I mean, Rodgers and Hammerstein are legends. When it’s intermission, the four of us are grinning like we’ve gone to heaven. Even Ezra. I’m not sure when was the last time I saw such a smile on his face. But it’s gone so fast it’s hard to imagine it was there less than thirty seconds ago.

  Act 2 starts, and it’s just as amazing at Act 1. Then the curtain call starts. “I love the curtain call,” Jax yells over the music and applause.

  My eyes creep to Kara. She’s staring at the bowing cast with a faraway look. I know she’s thinking about the many times she’s done curtain calls. This is the moment when the audience shows the actors and orchestra how much they appreciate their hard work and sacrifice. I smile as the conductor takes his bow, imagining what it’d be like to be up there.

  When I glance at Kara again, she has tears in her eyes. She swallows like she wants them to disappear, but they have minds of their own. I slide my hand into hers. She startles, her gaze shooting to mine. I give her a reassuring and understanding smile. She returns it, wiping the corners of her eyes with her thumb.

  Then it’s over. We leave the theater with the rest of the herd, every one of them gushing about the show and clinging onto their playbills.

  “I don’t know about you,” Jax says, “but that was quite an experience.”

  Kara’s eyes are a little red, but she’s all smiles. “Same for me.”

  “Thanks, Jax,” Ezra says. “I had a great time.”

  “Yeah, thanks, man.” I hold out my fist. He bumps it.

  “I wish our night didn’t have to end,” Kara says. “I’m having an awesome time with you guys.”

  Jax’s whole body lights up. “Anyone want ice cream?”

  “You don’t have to ask me twice,” I say.

  He leads us two blocks away to an ice cream shop that has the most flavors I’ve ever seen. Jax takes forever deciding what to order before finally settling on two scoops of cookie dough and one scoop of butter pecan. Kara chooses cotton candy, Ezra triple chocolate fudge, and me sorbet. We once again choose a booth in the back.

  “You guys,” Jax says with a smile as he licks his cone. “It feels like forever since we’ve hung out like this. And now with the addition of the amazing Kara, I’m so happy. Sorry if that’s lame.”

  “Not lame.” Kara smiles at him. “I like how you say what you feel. You don’t care what anyone else thinks of you. It’s refreshing.”

  “Well…I care what some people think of me,” he says.

  I know he’s referring to Kara.

  “I agree with Jax,” I say. “Feels so long since I’ve hung out with you guys. I’m always so busy…” My eyes slowly move between the two of them. I feel close to them again. I mean, we’ve always been close, but I guess I’ve put distance between us ever since Mom hurt her back and I started working at the club. I’ve missed them. “I think I’m ready to tell you what’s going on with me.”

  I rest a shaky hand on the table, my eyes flicking to Kara. She gives me a sweet smile and reassuring nod. She’s right—I can do this. “The reason I’ve been so busy and why I sometimes scarf down food like I haven’t eaten in days is because…well, it’s because my family isn’t doing so well financially.” I laugh lightly. “That’s putting it mildly. Actually, some nights we barely have enough to eat.”

  Jax gasps. Ezra’s face clouds over with concern.

  I hold up my hand. “I should have told you. I was embarrassed. Ashamed. I thought you’d think of me differently.”

  “We’d never do that,” Jax says. “You’re our best friend.”

  “I know. It was stupid. Kara made me realize that I shouldn’t hide things from you. You guys are my best buds and you have my back.”

  “Kara knew?” Jax asks, a bit of betrayal in his voice.

  “It was an accident,” I say. “She and her grandma performed at the club I work in. I treated her like crap, but like the special person she is, she forgave me.”

  “There was nothing to forgive.” She playfully smacks my shoulder.

  “I also want to thank you, Kara. Your performance this past weekend gave me a better paycheck. We have enough money to last us a few weeks.”

  Her whole face swarms with relief and joy. She stretches her hand across the table to squeeze mine. “I’m so happy to hear that.”

  “I’ll do whatever I can to help,” Jax says. “I have your back. Even my back has your back.”

  That makes me smile.

  “Me, too,” Ezra says.

  “Thanks. And do you think you guys can come over once in a while? Mackenzie and Kevin really miss you. And Pey and I could really use your help when I’m working.”

  “Just say the word and I’m there,” Jax says.

  Ezra nods.

  It feels like a hundred pounds have been lifted off my shoulders. I can’t believe I was embarrassed in front of my friends. I guess my eyes have been closed all this time. Kara helped me open them. She made me realize that no matter what, my friends will always be by my side. I send her a thankful smile. I think I might be actually falling for this girl.

  And that poses a big problem. Because my best friend is in love with her.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Ezra

  “I want to be open with you, too,” I say. “I…” I clear my throat and shift positions in my seat. I still have most of my ice cream while everyone else has finished theirs. I guess I’ve lost my appetite. It’s not easy for me to open up like this.

  “And Kara,” I say softly. “I want to be open with you, too.” I take a deep, shaky breath. “I’ve always assumed you guys wouldn’t understand me, but maybe I’ve been wrong. Jax, your parents are so supportive and they love you so much. They would move heaven and earth for you. And Carter, even though your mom works long hours, she’s always supported your music. I know you’d do anything to switch places with me, but the truth is, I’m starving more than you are. I’m emotionally starved. I just want…” I lower my gaze to the ice cream dripping on the table. “I just want someone to accept me for who I am. For someone to love me for who I am. I had one person in my life. He meant everything to me. And now he’s gone.”

  Kara places her hand on mine and gives it a gentle squeeze. Blood rushes through my veins at her soft and warm touch. I don’t want her to ever let go.

  “Maybe that’s why I’ve shut myself off. Because I convinced myself I don’t deserve to have it. Why should I? I have everything a guy could ask for. I have two healthy parents with really good jobs, a nice house a
nd a trust fund. They already bought a car for me. They did everything to ensure I’d have the best possible future. And how do I repay them? By throwing it in their faces. I can’t help feeling selfish by wanting to follow my own path. So why should I have the kind of love I want when other people lack what I take for granted?”

  Everyone at the table is dead quiet. I don’t really blame them. This was some deep stuff. Things I’ve been battling for years.

  “You shouldn’t look at other people,” Kara finally says. “I think that’s our biggest mistake. Everyone should look at their own life and make decisions that make them happy.”

  “In theory,” I say. “But then I look at other people, and now Carter…” My chest heaves. “I’m a selfish jerk.”

  “You’re not, man,” Carter says. “I know what it’s like to be passionate about something. No one should get in the way of your dreams. So what if you’re a little more privileged than other people? You can’t throw away your dreams.”

  My ice cream is all melted now. I chuck it in the garbage bin behind me. “There’s more to it. I don’t want to cut myself off from my family. Family is very important to me. I can’t imagine not having my parents and my sister in my life. I hate the thought of living in New York, only two hours away from Skyville, and never seeing them again. All because I want to be selfish and live my dream.”

  “Your parents are the selfish ones,” Jax says. “Sorry, but it’s not fair. Their dream was to be lawyers, and good for them that they achieved it. But it’s not right to throw that on you.”

  I reluctantly free my hand from Kara’s so I can run both of mine through my hair. “These thoughts keep me up at night. They’re always with me. The only time I don’t stress about it is when I’m on stage. That’s when I’m the happiest, when I can shove away all my problems and be happy for a change.”

  Kara stands up and wraps her arms around me. I’m so caught off-guard that I just sit still. Then my arms slowly come around her and I pull her closer to me, letting her body melt into mine. She’s so soft, so warm, and she makes me forget about my worries.

  She presses a kiss on my cheek. “Sorry,” she whispers. “I thought you needed that.”

  “I do.” I rub the back of her head. “You have no idea how much.”

  I would let her stay in my arms forever, but then I remember that the guys are here. When I look at Jax, I see a bit of jealousy brewing in his eyes. And when I look at Carter, I see the same jealousy. I gently push her out of my arms and give her a thankful smile.

  “I can’t tell you what the future holds,” Jax says. “But we’ll have your back. The three of us will stand by your side. If your parents don’t want a relationship with you, we’ll fill the gap.”

  I give them each a smile. “Thanks. Means a lot.”

  We’re quiet, each of us absorbed in our own thoughts. After a few minutes, Kara says, “Since we’re all sharing, I think I’m ready to tell you my story.” Her whole body trembles.

  “You don’t have to tell us,” I say. “Not until you’re ready.”

  “Or ever,” Carter says. “Kara,” he says softly, “you’re shaking so badly.”

  I lower myself to my knees before her chair and wrap an arm around her. “You’re okay,” I whisper.

  She blinks and tears drip down her cheeks. She wipes her eyes, laughing like she’s embarrassed. “Damn. I don’t want to cry.”

  “Cry all you want,” Jax says. “It’s okay.”

  “Sorry in advance for the water works. It won’t be pretty.” She takes a deep breath and lets it out, her whole body still shaking. “I told Jax and Carter a little bit about it, Ezra, but there’s more to the story. I guess I’ll start from the beginning.” She swallows hard. “I love my fans. They make the whole Broadway experience so much better. I get such satisfaction being out there and sharing my talent with the world, but nothing compares to meeting my fans or getting fan mail. I know how much it means to them, which is why I’ve always done whatever I could to make them happy. I make sure to answer each and every letter and email, with a personal message. I even started a YouTube channel with my sister. It was great, and I was having a really good time. Until about a year ago, when I got a letter.

  “I didn’t think much of it at first. The guy was basically telling me how beautiful and talented he thought I was and how much of an inspiration I was to him. I’ve gotten these kinds of letters before, but there was something about the way he worded the letter than made me uncomfortable. But I brushed it aside. He sent many more letters over the next few months and a lot of gifts, too. While they were a little creepy, I never really felt threatened. I told my parents about them and they told me to keep an eye on the situation and to tell them if anything got too out of hand. But after a few months, he started talking about coming to New York to meet me. He sent me pretty dresses in the mail and told me he wanted me to wear them when we met. When I told my parents, they called the police right away. It didn’t take long for them to track down the guy. He was forty years old and lived across the country.

  “I thought that was behind me and started to look forward to Fiddler on the Roof, where I was cast as Chava. But only a few weeks after his arrest, I started getting letters again. At first I started freaking out, but I told myself I was being irrational. The letters didn’t even sound threatening. But by opening night, things had escalated. He would tell me how he came to my performance and watched me on stage and…and what it would do to him, you know, physically. He would write how he was lying naked in bed and imagined me lying next to him. He told me how he couldn’t wait to meet me by the stage door again so he could look into my eyes as I signed his playbill. He had collected a handful of playbills over the years, each with my signature. My parents immediately called the cops again. We didn’t know if it was the same guy, a copycat, or if it was a totally unrelated incident. But this guy wasn’t easy to catch. He covered his tracks very well, and it was nearly impossible to search for him amongst the people attending the shows. I was a complete mess. I would stare out at the audience and freak out that he was watching me and thinking these awful thoughts. But I had to stay strong. I had to push everything away and give the audience the performance they paid for. I would avoid going to the stage door to meet the fans. People started to complain, but I couldn’t tell anyone about it. I didn’t want it plastered all over the news and online…”

  She takes a shaky breath and lets it out. “My parents were freaking out, too. They didn’t want me taking the subway by myself. My dad would come to my show every night and take me home either by car or he’d order a taxi. Sometimes I even asked the understudy to step in because I was so scared. The letters would keep coming, each of them full of disgusting words, and he even sent disgusting items to the stage door. I told them not to accept gifts for me anymore, which I know upset many of my fans. I lived every single day in fear.”

  She turns her head and buries her nose in my shoulder. “Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore and I left. The police are still looking for him. I’m worried they’ll never find him and I’ll live the rest of my life scared of my own shadow.”

  The three of us are quiet, staring at her, at each other, back at her. Kara lifts her face from my shoulder and wipes her eyes, her entire body quaking. I get up from the floor and pound my fist into my palm. “I’m going to kill him.”

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Kara

  Ezra has the most furious look I’ve ever seen on anyone.

  “It’s okay,” I say as my fingers wrap around his hand. “The police are handling it.”

  “Asshole,” he grumbles. “He had no right to treat you that way. To make you live in fear every day.” Now both his hands are fisted.

  “I can’t believe this,” Jax mutters. “I didn’t think anyone could do something like that. Kara.” He gets up and lowers himself next to my chair. “I’m so sorry for coming on too strongly when you first got here. It must have brought everything back.”

>   I give him a weak smile. “Don’t worry about it. You didn’t know.”

  “Are you scared he’ll find you here?” Carter asks. “Is that why you don’t want anyone taking photos or videos of you during your performances?”

  I nod. “I’m worried someone will post on social media where I am and he’ll come looking for me.”

  “The bastard,” Ezra grumbles.

  “I’m touched by how concerned you all are,” I say. “But I didn’t tell you this to make myself feel better or to piss you off. I just wanted to share part of myself with you. I want to get closer to you.”

  “But we are pissed,” Carter says with an infuriated scowl. “Who the hell does that guy think he is?”

  “There are a lot of sick people in this world, unfortunately,” I say.

  “He took away something you love.” Jax brushes a feather-like hand down my arm. “You had to give up your life.”

  “Does your sister know about this?” Carter asks. “Is she in danger?”

  “I don’t think she knows exactly what happened, but I’m sure she has a general idea. And my parents are screening every message and package she receives. So far, it doesn’t look like anyone’s harassing her. All her social media accounts are being monitored, too. I deactivated all of mine and took down the YouTube videos.”

  Ezra throws himself in his chair, his hands still fisted. “Asshole.”

  Despite my telling them not to be upset, it looks like it just made it worse. My heart flutters and my knees go weak at how much they care about me.

  “We’ll look after you.” Jax stands and nods resolutely. “We won’t let anyone hurt you or come within ten feet of you.”

  “I dare someone to harass you here.” Ezra’s knuckles grow white. “I’ll pound him into the cement until there’s nothing left but broken bones.”