Skyville Boys Page 17

  It’s not until the audience applauses that I realize they exist. I…I did it. I performed in front of people. Bile rises in my throat. I think I’m going to be sick. With a quick bow, I hurry off the stage and lean back on the wall, my chest rising and falling wildly.

  “Kara?” Carter calls. “Kara?” He comes out of the shadows and takes my hands. “You were amazing.” He tightens his hands on mine. “Wow, you’re shaking so badly.”

  “I think I’m going to puke.”

  “No, you’re okay.” He rests his forehead against mine. “You’re fine.”

  I breathe through my nose. “I didn’t think I could do it, Carter. I actually performed in front of people.”

  He leans back and smiles. “And you lived.”

  I laugh. “I lived. But god, I don’t think I’ll ever do it again. Except for the musical.”

  “Really? Because you’re amazing.”

  “Thanks, but I really need to keep a low profile. I just did it because—” My mouth clamps shut.

  “What?”

  I quickly shake my head. “Nothing.” I give him my own smile. “It felt good, though.”

  He wraps an arm around me. “I’m glad.” He lets go and looks past me. “My boss is looking for me. I’ve got to go. I’ll see you?”

  “Yeah. Good night.”

  As I go outside and reach into my bag for my cell phone to call James to pick me up, I lean against the wall of the club and smile, my heart still pounding from all the adrenaline and excitement. The feeling of being on stage passes through me, the thrill, and anxiety, but what stands out most is Carter. The reassuring look he gave me. The strength. I don’t think I could have done it without him.

  A black car pulls up to the curb and James climbs out of the driver seat. He tips his cap. “Evening, Miss Starr.”

  “Hey, James.”

  Once we’re on the road, I say, “How did you enjoy your day off?”

  “I spent some time with the grandkids. Thanks. How was your evening?”

  “I’m a mix of emotions,” I admit. “I think I might explode.”

  He smiles. “The important thing is you had fun, eh?”

  I nod. I did have fun. I missed singing on stage. But something pricks the back of my neck. Fear. It doesn’t matter how much I’ve missed it. My stalker might be out there somewhere. As much as I don’t want him to rule my life, I need to be practical.

  James drops me off at the house and wishes me a good night. I race up the stairs and into the shower so I could change into my pajamas. Mom, Dad, and Kitty should be arriving any moment, and I don’t want them to find out about my performance. It’s not that they’d disapprove, I just don’t want them to worry about me. They’re still not too happy about me being here all by myself.

  When I turn off the shower, I strain my ears for voices. Maybe Kitty and Mom singing songs from My Fair Lady or Dad freaking out that he forgot to double check that he locked all the windows and doors. But I don’t hear anything. I guess they’re running late.

  As soon as I get out of the shower and scan my phone, I see I have a missed call from my mom. My heart sinks. I think I know why they’re not here. I dial my mom.

  “Hey, sweetie,” she says.

  “Hi. Bad news?”

  “Yes and no. Bad news because we can’t make it this weekend. Good news because Kitty got a callback.”

  “Really? That’s awesome. Is it for that movie?”

  “Yes, it’s between her and three more girls. Fingers crossed, Kara. This movie is a big one.”

  Nothing but pride invades my heart. “I’m so happy for her.”

  “And Dad needs to fly out to Chicago tomorrow,” she says. “He can’t visit you, either.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I assure her. “There’s always next weekend.”

  “You’re very brave, Kara, but I’m not as strong.”

  I lower myself on my bed. “Mom, I’m sixteen. I’ll be fine.”

  “Yes, but with everything that happened…” She releases a shaky breath. “I just hate that I’m so far from you. Maybe I can leave Kitty with her friend and come myself…”

  “No way. You need to be there for her. She’s strong, Mom, but even she gets scared sometimes.”

  Mom sighs. “You’re right. Hopefully Grandma will return soon.”

  We catch each other up on what’s going on, and then Kitty comes on the phone so I can wish her good luck. When I hang up, I feel a pang in my heart. An emptiness. I miss them like crazy.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Jax

  I open the door and throw Ezra a smile. Then I frown at the tiny backpack on his arm. “That all you brought?”

  He shrugs as he moves past me into my house. “All I need is a toothbrush, pajamas, and a change of clothes.”

  Fair enough. It’s been a while since he slept over. He comes over a lot, but he hasn’t spent the night. I guess I’ve been feeling a little distanced from him the past few days. With his grandfather’s death and all that’s going on with his parents, I want him to just let loose and have fun. If he still knows how to. But no matter, because after today, he’ll definitely know what it means to have fun.

  Mom smiles as she puts down a tray of almond cookies. “Ezra.” She wraps her arms around him. “So glad to have you.”

  Ezra has the uncomfortable but happy smile he always gets when he’s over. Uncomfortable because he feels like he’s imposing, but happy because he loves being here.

  “Thanks for letting me sleep over,” he says.

  Mom waves her hand. “Nonsense. You’re like family. Jax, is Carter coming to?”

  “I invited him. I don’t think he’ll show, though.” I don’t know what’s up with him. He’s always present during the day, but he disappears at night. It’s like he’s a superhero.

  “I’m a little worried about him, too,” Ezra whispers as we climb the stairs to my room. “I can never get hold of him at night, and when I do, he’s always pushing me away.”

  “Badass piano player by day, badass superhero at night.”

  Ezra lowers his backpack onto the spare mattress I shoved into my room. “Or maybe he’s in trouble.”

  “You mean…drugs?”

  He shrugs and lowers himself on the bed. “I don’t know.”

  I sit down on my bed. “But it’s Carter we’re talking about. He’d never do something like that. He’s probably busy with his siblings. His mom still works a lot.”

  Ezra doesn’t look convinced. “Maybe.”

  “Okay, check this out.” I get up and swipe a few DVDs from my shelf. “I have a whole lot of options here. West Side Story.” I hand it to him. “Shrek the Musical.” I hand that to him as well. “Carousel. South Pacific. Singing in the Rain. Oliver. Willy Wonka and the—”

  “Are all these musicals?”

  “Duh.”

  He places them next to him. “Can we watch something other than musicals?”

  “But you love musicals. Oh, I know! We should watch Beauty and the Beast!”

  “Not really in the mood.”

  I sit down next to him. “Another argument with your parents?”

  He crosses his arms. “Doesn’t matter.”

  “I thought you’d want to watch Shrek. You think it’s hilarious.”

  “Yeah, but…” His voice trails off. “Do you know Kara took down her videos?”

  “What? What are you talking about?”

  “The YouTube videos she made with her sister. She took them all down.”

  “She did?”

  I race to my computer and pound on the keys. “Huh. She did. That’s weird. I can’t believe I haven’t noticed.” I pound on the keys again. “Zero videos. Why did she take them down? She and her sister were awesome.”

  “Yeah. I watched two that someone else re-uploaded. I didn’t know she was so funny.”

  I give him a curious look. “Why did you watch her videos?”

  He shrugs. “Was feeling down. Thought it mig
ht make me feel better.”

  I tap my chin as I stare at her empty channel. It sucks she took down her videos. They used to make me feel good when I was down. I guess I’ve been so busy with the musical and everything that it slipped my mind. I wonder why…

  Of course. It’s because of the stalker. Damn him, whoever he is. Another thing she had to give up because of him.

  Ezra crouches down before my shelves lined with DVDs and starts making his own pile. Most of them are action movies and the rest are comedies. Bummer he doesn’t want to watch musicals with me. It’s something the three of us share. My mom’s a fan, too, but it’s different experiencing the magic of musicals with my best friends.

  We settle on Taken. I tell him to start the movie while I microwave some popcorn. When I return, I watch him from the doorway. Even though he’s into the movie, he’s got this perpetual scowl on his face. Maybe scowl isn’t the right word, because it’s not out of anger or annoyance. It’s out of pain and hopelessness. Part of the reason I invited him over for the weekend was to make him feel better. But I don’t think it’s doing any good.

  After the movie, we go down to the kitchen for dinner. I asked Mom to make Ezra’s favorite—eggplant parmesan. He’s thankful and tells Mom how delicious it is, but he doesn’t crack a smile.

  When we’re in my room after dinner throwing a ball at one another, I say, “I think I know how to cheer you up.”

  He raises an eyebrow. “I need cheering up?”

  “Don’t you think you do?”

  He chucks the ball at me. “I guess.”

  “Okay, so what do you think about this: you getting free lessons at my mom’s dance studio!” I throw the ball at him.

  He catches it in his right hand and then drops it. “What?”

  “I spoke to my mom and she told me she can afford to take on a student for free,” I lie. “Isn’t that great? Now you can be a triple threat. Singing, acting, and dancing.”

  He gets up from his bed and walks to the window, pressing his forehead against the glass. “I can’t ask her to do this.”

  “It’s no big deal.”

  He shakes his head. “No. I can’t accept it. I’ll take dance classes when I move out to New York.”

  “And how will you pay for them?” I ask. “And it might be too late by then.”

  “Then I won’t be a triple threat. Thanks, Jax, but I’m fine.”

  I sigh. “You’re so stubborn sometimes. Don’t you get that we’re trying to help you? Kara—” I snap my mouth shut. Damn!

  He slowly turns around. “What about Kara?”

  “Kara? I didn’t say Kara. I said…Mara. Yeah, Mara.”

  He raises an eyebrow. “Who the hell is Mara?” He lowers himself back on his bed. “Quit it, Jax. What’s going on?”

  I puff out my cheeks. “Okay. Fine. Kara spoke to me yesterday. She wants to pay for your dance lessons.”

  “What?”

  “She’s looking out for you. She thinks you have a real shot at making it on Broadway and she wants to do whatever she can to help you get there.”

  He stares at me for a moment, then runs his hands through his hair. “I can’t believe it.”

  “Don’t be mad at her.”

  “I’m not mad. I’m—”

  “Touched that she’s such a sweetheart?”

  “No. I just…I don’t know. But I can’t let her do this, either. I wouldn’t feel right taking her money.” He runs his hand through his hair again. “I must have really sucked during our dance scene.”

  I laugh lightly. “I didn’t see the scene, but I have seen you dance. You’re a train wreck, dude. No offense.”

  He glares at me.

  “Look, Ezra, I get how hard this is for you. Your parents don’t support your dream—”

  “I don’t want to talk about it, okay? And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t talk to anyone about me behind my back.”

  He loads in another DVD and presses play.

  “Ezra…”

  He ignores me and focuses on the movie.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Ezra

  I’m not pissed at Kara. I’m pissed at myself. At my parents. At my situation. Maybe I have a little pride because of the way my parents raised me. Maybe I feel lower than dirt. But I’m not mad at her. I am touched, but I still hate myself.

  Thankfully, Jax doesn’t bring up the topic for the rest of Friday night and Saturday. I have to leave Saturday night because my dad has a brunch party on Sunday with his clients. Families are expected to attend. It’s the last place I want to be, but there’s no sense in putting even more distance between us.

  Most of the brunch consists of Dad introducing me to all these people I don’t care about. Maybe he thinks I’ll be inspired and stop with my “nonsense.” But seeing all these people only fuels my resolve. I don’t want that kind of future. Nothing wrong with it, of course. It’s just not for me. But I smile either way, or at least try to. Not sure I’ve been doing much of that lately.

  I manage to sneak away for a few minutes and dial Kara.

  “Hello?” she asks.

  “It’s Ezra.”

  She pauses for a second. “Hi, Ezra.”

  My intention wasn’t to yell at her, but I did want to be a little firm. As sweet as her offer was, it really isn’t her business. But hearing her voice…

  I clear my throat. “Hi.”

  She’s quiet.

  I’m quiet.

  I have no idea how much times passes.

  “You’re the one who called me,” she says with a nervous laugh.

  “Oh. I just wanted to tell you…”

  “Yeah?”

  Why does she sound so sweet and kind over the phone? And why the hell does it stir something in my chest?

  “I just…can we meet before school tomorrow?”

  “Okay. What for?”

  “I need to talk to you.”

  “Okay. We can meet on the bus,” she suggests.

  “That won’t really leave us a lot of time to talk. Can you come early?”

  “Sure. My grandma’s driver can take me. We can pick you up.”

  “No, that’s okay. I have something to do tomorrow morning, anyway.”

  “Okay. I’ll see you on Monday, then? In the auditorium?”

  “Okay, bye.” I hang up.

  I don’t know why I even suggested it. If I couldn’t say the words on the phone, how can I say them to her face to face?

  ***

  Why am I early? The only other person in the entire school is the janitor. Even the football team hasn’t come to practice yet.

  I sit back in my seat at the back of the auditorium, my knees shaking. The image of the two of us dancing together flashes in my mind. Why can’t I get it out of my head?

  “Ezra?”

  I look up and find her standing before me.

  “I almost didn’t see you.” She laughs as she sits down. “You’re all the way in the back and you’ve got your hoodie pulled over your head.”

  I lower it.

  She sits on the edge of her seat, pushing some of that gorgeous dark hair out of her eyes. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

  Her face is a mask of curiosity and intrigue. There’s a small distance between us, but I can feel the heat leaping off her body. It makes my gut twist. And her hand is so close to mine…

  I blink the thought away. “I know about the dance lessons,” I say, not meeting her gaze.

  “You do?”

  I lift my head to look at her. She doesn’t seem upset, just confused and guilty. “How did you find out?” she asks.

  My lips lift in a small, wry smile. “It’s never a good idea to trust Jax with a secret. He can’t keep anything to himself.”

  “Noted. I’m sorry, are you mad? I didn’t mean to impose, I just—”

  “I’m not mad,” I say. “I know you were coming from a good place. But you don’t get it.”

  “What don’t I get?” she a
sks gently.

  I tear my gaze away from her. “Me. My life. I’m just complicated.”

  “Everyone is complicated,” she says. “We all have a story to tell. I wonder what yours is. I mean, I’d love it if you’d tell me.”

  I turn to her. “Why?”

  “Because I want to get to know you.”

  “Why?”

  “I’m intrigued by you. I think you’re a really good guy. A very talented guy.”

  I look away again. “There’s nothing remotely interesting about me.”

  She’s quiet for a few seconds. Then she says, “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me. But I’m serious about the dance lessons. I’d like to do that for you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I see a lot in you. You have so much potential, Ezra. You just need to believe in yourself.”

  “I do believe in myself,” I mutter. “It’s others who don’t believe in me.”

  “Who? Your friends? They think the world of you. And Miss Lewis loves you.”

  I shake my head. “I mean my parents.”

  Her mouth closes, her eyebrows pinched. She leans back in her seat with an, “Oh.”

  I could hear some people in the school. Probably the football team.

  I glance at Kara and find her studying me. I’ve never liked people studying me. Analyzing me. Trying to figure out what makes me tick or what the hell is wrong with me. But I don’t feel that way with her. I want her to understand me without my having to explain. I know that’s not possible.

  I fall back in my seat and cross my arms. “They want me to be a lawyer.” I laugh bitterly. “They refuse to hear anything related to theater. They’ve already chosen what colleges they want me to apply to.”

  “I’m sorry,” she says. “That sucks.”

  “They don’t even let me get a job. I hate how much control they have over me. I hate that I care.”

  She lays her hand on my arm. “Of course you care. They’re your parents.”

  “When I think about the future, I see myself on Broadway. But if I choose that path, I’ll lose my parents. I picture myself all alone during holidays, not even a phone call or a card. I don’t want to be estranged from them. As much heartache they cause me, I don’t want to be cut off from them.”